What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
