I can text with my tongue
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
