is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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