did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize