lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
