Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
