is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
