I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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