I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you win again, gameday.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
