have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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