Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
