Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.

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(484): At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town. http://tfl.nu/jjq0

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(954): View more from Florida

So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.

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(954): So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had. http://tfl.nu/ag2c

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(613): View more from Ontario

You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..

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(613): You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon.. http://tfl.nu/gnh9

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(740): View more from Ohio

so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could

(216): View more from Ohio

did she say where she was going

(740): View more from Ohio

apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars

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(740): so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could (216): did she say where she was going (740): apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars http://tfl.nu/v42j

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(864): View more from South Carolina

we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game

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(864): we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game http://tfl.nu/6o4z

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(704): View more from North Carolina

giving yourself 2 days to recover i see

(828): View more from North Carolina

I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.

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(704): giving yourself 2 days to recover i see (828): I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night. http://tfl.nu/33op

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(847): View more from Illinois

oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.

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(847): oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame. http://tfl.nu/543s

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(361): View more from Texas

She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.

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(361): She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation. http://tfl.nu/alpd

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(443): View more from Maryland

Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.

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(443): Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed. http://tfl.nu/vazj

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(317): View more from Indiana

He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...

(1-317): View more from Indiana

He's the fucking cop whisperer.

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(317): He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him... (1-317): He's the fucking cop whisperer. http://tfl.nu/3vvt

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(407): View more from Florida

How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.

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(407): How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire. http://tfl.nu/efjw

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(520): View more from Arizona

We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.

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(520): We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis. http://tfl.nu/wjfa

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(302): View more from Delaware

His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass

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(302): His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass http://tfl.nu/wy91

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(615): View more from Tennessee

NoShamevember. You game?

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(615): NoShamevember. You game? http://tfl.nu/f24z

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(269): View more from Michigan

My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.

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(269): My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers. http://tfl.nu/z1x9

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