You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.