Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.

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  (508): i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer. http://tfl.nu/xz6n
  Replies (24) Good night (2417) Bad night (671)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?

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  (305): considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it? http://tfl.nu/ijgp
  Replies (40) Good night (946) Bad night (9556)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.

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  (617): it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before. http://tfl.nu/1u0r
  Replies (20) Good night (683) Bad night (3766)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.

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  (863): Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight. http://tfl.nu/z2zb
  Replies (16) Good night (1006) Bad night (4298)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.

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  (604): just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe. http://tfl.nu/ejrn
  Replies (26) Good night (675) Bad night (3752)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.

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  (443): I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network. http://tfl.nu/hbga
  Replies (27) Good night (4566) Bad night (2923)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.

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  (250): By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right. http://tfl.nu/wypb
  Replies (12) Good night (3679) Bad night (1063)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.

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  (678): I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back. http://tfl.nu/lb6m
  Replies (2) Good night (2503) Bad night (986)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me

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  (660): Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me http://tfl.nu/ir9q
  Replies (4) Good night (1035) Bad night (2080)
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  (247): View more from

  That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.

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  (247): That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes. http://tfl.nu/fpdo
  Replies (6) Good night (1446) Bad night (457)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.

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  (406): Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video. http://tfl.nu/84d9
  Replies (2) Good night (539) Bad night (359)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?

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  (612): Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic? http://tfl.nu/ja2v
  Replies (8) Good night (1041) Bad night (283)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.

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  (416): Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life. http://tfl.nu/edw4
  Replies (10) Good night (525) Bad night (559)
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  (323): View more from California

  He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.

  (323): View more from California

  Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.

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  (323): He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour. (323): Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks. http://tfl.nu/2ar3
  Replies (5) Good night (830) Bad night (287)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'

  (406): View more from Montana

  I AM SO PROUD OF YOU

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  (307): Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina' (406): I AM SO PROUD OF YOU http://tfl.nu/0zsn
  Replies (1) Good night (591) Bad night (261)

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