he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
