Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(240): View more from Maryland

Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"

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(714): View more from California

I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?

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(757): View more from Virginia

Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.

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(303): View more from Colorado

we're about an hour out, how's the weather?

(720): View more from Colorado

cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(619): View more from California

We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.

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(315): View more from New York

Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.

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