a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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