the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
