Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm at about main and main street
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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