last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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