Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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