called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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