hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
