he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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