just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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