My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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