i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
what is it with giant penises always finding me
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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