and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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