I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
