let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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