babies were throwing up all over the place
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
