Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
