She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
