just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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