They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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