you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
