My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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