i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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