I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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