So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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