So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
