i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
