Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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