You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize