Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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