Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
