the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
