Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
