if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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