you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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