Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
