She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
