I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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