don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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