new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
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