I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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