P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
