fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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