oh god the rape fog is back!
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
