i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
