whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
