The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
