my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
