you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
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Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my liver is dry heaving
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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