omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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