This girl is more easily done than said...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Randomize
