Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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